Tis the season...

Well here we are yet again for another year. I know it's not officially the Christmas season, but it's so close it might as well be. This year I'm doing things a little different. I'm starting the whole shopping and preparing thing a little earlier than in the past. I've been one of those who wait to get all my shopping done. Then I wind up being wound up with stress trying to get everything accomplished. Not this year. Nope, this year I'm starting sooner so when the holiday time does come I can relax.

Veterans Day

Today, I took a time out to remember our soldiers...past and present. The cost of our freedom is a high one, so please take time to remember the sacrifices our brave soldiers have made and are making today.

To all those who serve and have served...

THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

VOTE!

Well, tomorrow is the big day. We all get to vote for our next President, U.S. Representatives and Senators, State level offices as well as local. Voting for such offices is unique for this nation. My hope this time around is that more people will vote for principle rather than the status quo. There is a lot at stake this election, however as a child of God what do I really have to worry about?

No matter what, Jesus is still the King of kings...you could also say the President of presidents.112(my dog Bella has just helped me with this lol). AS I was saying, no matter who is elected the next public office, Jesus is still the Head over all of it. He holds it all in the palm of His hand.

Indeed, no matter what Jesus will take care of us. Even when the lines look crooked, God can draw straight from it. The economy appears to be broken in a gazillion pieces, but God still comes through and provides. As it is written, "we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him." Yes, we can take great comfort in knowing that God will take care of us. All we need to do is trust Him.

Heaven and Hell: A State of Being

Jesus did speak of such a place, Hell, and the Greek word used was Gehenna (which translated to English is Hell). It's a place that the folks of that time and culture understood perfectly. Jesus used this place to aid in illustrating His point, that those who make bad choices and don't put God first wind up in a place such as this. People who worship false gods or set stuff like money as a higher priority that God ultimately end up in a Gehenna.

From the sermon/message of my pastor Rob, when you get down to the nuts and bolts of it, anywhere you have a condition where people are suffering (starving, sick, death, disease, greed, lust, etc...) there is a Hell or Gehenna on earth.

Now, the flip side of this is of course Heaven. At the very core to His kingdom of Heaven is love. I've concluded and confirmed that love is the decision to put others first. When I say "I love you" to my wife, I'm telling her that she matters more to me than I matter to myself. The best and loudest example of His perfect love is Jesus on the cross. Jesus is saying that we matter more to Him than He matters to Himself. Yeah, He just loves us sooooooooooooooo much! In here is a condition of Heaven on earth. Jesus taught us to pray saying to our Abba that His Kingdom come and His will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. So yeah, bring Heaven on earth. So who aids Him in this...we do! Yes, the church! We help bring up there down here. The church is a force in this world, so where there are hungry...we bring them food. Where there are sick, we bring them healing/medicine. In a nutshell, we extend the love of God around this world with such acts. God enables us to do so. So we, the church, have it within us by His grace and power to charge at the gates of Hell and tear them down!!! While many may run from these gates, the church runs at them.

It's really a state of being contingent upon our choices. IF we so choose, we can be in Heaven (by Christ's love and power, of course). Or, if we choose we can be in Hell. C.S. Lewis wrote it that basically God doesn't send anyone to Hell. Nope, we get there on our own. So choose wisely...choose Jesus.

I'm praying for us all and may the grace of God abound in us all.

Election 2008: Vote for principle

If you only follow this years' election coverage from the major news networks on TV, you are led to believe that there are only two candidates running for President of the United States: John McCain and Barack Obama. McCain is with the Republican party and Obama is with the Democratic party. However, these aren't the only choices. There are in fact six major candidates!

Now I'm not going to say "You should vote for _________". What I will say is always vote for principle. Vote for the person whom you agree with and feel can do the job right. Don't just vote because this person is going to win. Don't just vote for the person all your friends are voting. No, vote for principle.

One candidate I want to mention is Chuck Baldwin of the Constitution Party. I won't put everything here. I'll let you read about him for yourself on his campaign website. I just want to say that I'm a bit upset and disgusted with the major news networks. They only focus attention on McCain and Obama. This to me is biased and irresponsible. The First Amendment of the Constitution gives liberty to the press. So why doesn't the press fully take advantage of this? My guess is $$$. Greed seems to be the motivation for news networks these days. Maybe it's just me, but news networks these days air stories they know will give them the best chance at gaining profit. So instead of making it known all the candidates running for President, they only cover the ones with the most $$$ to buy the airtime. YUK! So if you don't do the research yourself to become an informed voter, you can easily enter the polls on election day thinking McCain and Obama are the only choices.

All I want to say is this, be informed and vote for principle.

Grace

I'm currently reading a book called The Ragamuffin Gospel. The author, Brennan Manning, brings to light a reality of God that in today's culture seems to be obscured. I say obscured because I didn't grow up in the church, so as an outsider looking in my observation of the church was a group of people who are condemning and judgmental. In order to be acceptable "thou shalt ______" (fill in the blank). This is the first impression I had of the church. One had to jump through the religious hoops to be acceptable, otherwise you were out! Aaah, but, when I actually take a look at the Gospel I see a completely different scene. I see Christ, God the Son, giving it all up for the world. I see One who loves so much that He accepts us right where we are at...a ragamuffin. What is all this anyway???

GRACE

Yes, this is the grace of God. This grace comes out of His abundant and outrageous love for us. This grace is also somewhat foreign to many of us. When you grow up conditioned to believe that there is nothing free and that you must earn everything, grace is indeed something that could very well be a hoax. Nonetheless, grace is real and when one experiences His grace you can't help but let it overflow towards others. We don't have to earn it, we certainly don't deserve it, and we usually don't even ask for it. However, grace is offered to us in spite of all that.

yeah...breath that in for a moment. No preconditions or prerequisites. No auditions. No hoops to jump through. All we have to do is merely accept it.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." --John 3:16

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-- not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." --Eph. 2:8-10

Brennan Manning writes that repentance actually comes after redemption. I used to think I had to repent first. Nope, duh, read it again. We are saved by grace through faith. Faith also means complete trust. God loves us first...100%! Then His grace is offered. In the wake of His grace is the invitation to trust Him. He is always asking this question, "Do you trust Me?" It seems to me that we are all wired up to trust another in the wake of grace. It may not come quickly. It may in fact take years. But once we begin to trust in Him, then we are on the journey of repentance.

2 Corinthians 5
(16) "So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. "
(17) "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

THERE IT IS! It's so simple. Repentance is a product of redemption. This is why we cannot save ourselves. We must be redeemed first by Christ and then we begin to do good things and take our next steps towards Him and the abundant life He offers.

I'm praying for you all.

Home Improvement

Finally! The little home improvement projects that were a must are now complete! First there was the steps of the front porch. They were a precast concrete, but were crumbling apart. So with the help of my dad we built new steps out of wood. In order to do this, however, I had to switch the storm door to make it swing inward rather than outward. This was all done in August.

Second, the toilet in the bathroom was positioned in such a way that when you needed to sit down on it for good ole #2 your knees would be pressing up against the bathtub. Not a real comfortable situation. So I purchased a new toilet with an elongated bowl shape and new flooring. Again with the help of my dad we removed the old toilet, flooring, and drain plumbing in the basement specifically for the toilet. Then we installed the new flooring, the new toilet positioning it to be parallel with the tub, and intalled the new drain plumbing in the basement. Aaaah, much better. My wife especially appreciates it. This project was completed in September.

Finally, after dropping Comcast last June my wife and I only had a small UHF antenna outside that only recieved a couple of local channels. We had NBC and CBS without trouble, but ABC and FOX were another story. So I purchased a new outdoor antenna from Radio Shack along with a rotor and cable and a high gain signal amplifier. Again with the help of my dad we got that installed just this past weekend. Now, with the digital converter box, we get all the local channels and can even pick up Chicago. The catch is there is a tree limb that is caught when the antenna is rotated around to the west. The challenge is that limb is rather high up. I think my dad and I will come up with a simple solution to this challenge.

Aaah the joys of home ownership...or should it be stewardship? After all, all this stuff is owned by God anyway. I just get to use it for a time. So yeah, I suppose a more acurate description is home stewardship.

Mathmatics: The Undiscovered Country

Oie! I just took a math placement exam online for Western Michigan University and pretty much confirmed what I already knew...I need to take an elementary algebra class. I wrote in an earlier post that I'm going back to school to get a degree in Computer Science. This will indeed be a long and adventurous journey...and I can't wait!

BRING IT!!!

Tips and tricks to gain gas mileage

Okay, yes, there are already tons of websites out here in cyberspace that give tips and ideas of how one can save on gas and gain mileage. Well I thought I'd jot down some of those things that I've learned from experience and that work. So here goes.

1. Slow down! This is the biggest and most effective thing we can do. Whether you are driving a Toyota Prius, a Chevy Aveo, or a Hummer. It doesn't matter. Slowing down is the most effective way to gain MPG, especially upon acceleration. As Christ-followers, we ought to be living out patience anyway. So take your time folks. Accelerate slow and gently and actually drive the speed limit...or even slower if you can help it.
2. Turn the engine off. I realize some of you may be thinking, "huh?". There is a phrase called hypermiling where one does these things to gain the very most out of each drop of fuel. I drive a 1999 Dodge Dakota pickup truck that is a stick shift. Where I can, usually going down a big hill, I'll turn the engine off. This will save on gas. I simply let gravity keep me moving. I put the truck in neutral and let 'er roll. When I get to the bottom of the hill or I start to lose momentum. Sure, with the engine off you lose power steering and power brakes. However, you can still steer and brake. You just may have to push a bit harder.
3. Keep your car/truck well maintained. This is a no-brainer. Keep your tires up to proper pressure. This will help the vehicle roll nice and smooth. Check your oil and change it at least every 3,000 miles. Many cars today come with an on-board computer that will tell you when your car needs service. Take a look at the owners manual for more on this. At least every 10,000 miles, get the spark plugs, plug wires, distributor cap and rotor changed. Also, keep an eye on the air filter. A dirty air filter isn't a good thing. If your engine cannot take in the air necessary for optimum performance, you'll lose gas mileage.
4. Try different brands of fuel. I know this may seem silly, but for a long time I was buying Murphy USA because of the 3 cents off per gallon with the Wal-mart shopping card. In conversations with others, Shell and Speedway have impressed people. You may pay a few cents more per gallon at the time of fill up, but you have to consider the frequency of fill-ups. If you spend 4 times a month to fill up with the cheap stuff, you may actually spend less in a month if you pay more per fill up but only 2 times a month.

Well that's about it. I hope this helps anyone who happens to read this. The biggest thing is slow down. The slower you accelerate, the less fuel you burn per a given distance.

back to school

Life is certainly an adventure. God made it this way. I mean, if we all knew what was going to happen next all of the time and in every circumstance life wouldn't be very exciting now would it. No, life is exciting because it is an adventure filled with dangers and risks and all kinds of surprises...some good!

Last Friday my wife and I were heading up to spend the weekend with her folks. We pass Lake Michigan College as always on the way up. On their marquee were the words "Sign up for Fall Classes Now!" This immediately prompted some thinking inside of me. I've always had enthusiasm or passion for computers and technology...computers to be more specific. When I was a college student trying to decide on what to major in, Computer Science was one consideration. I didn't know Jesus at the time and so I had no clear vision for my life. I wound up majoring in Psychology instead. Well now I'm impassioned to go back to school and get that Bachelor of Science degree in Computer Science. I'm ready to engage a journey to learn more about something for which I have a passion. Indeed it will be a long journey. I don't know for sure where it will take me, but I know that I will come out gaining knowledge and wisdom that I never had before. I suppose you could say that the journey is more important than the destination.

To the journey!

competition

When I look up this definition, it basically is a contest between two or more persons or groups. The definition also refers to the word rivalry.

This makes me question, is competition a God thing? The more I meditate on this, the more I conclude that no, competition is not a God thing. The opposite is true. Cooperation is a God thing. Knowing that He is all about relationships and community, competition can break apart relationships and community.

Now I'm not saying we should never play any games or contests. I have no problem with a friendly game of cards or golf. The key word here is friendly. When playing games with friends, it really doesn't matter who wins or loses. The point is to have some fun with friends. It's not the destination that matters, but the journey.

So play games, have fun, and make new friends in the process.

Fantasy v. reality

Let's face it, if we're all honest with ourselves we all have fantasies of some kind. Another word for fantasy can be meditation. It's all focused thinking. However, I believe fantasy involves more imagination and creativity than meditation. Either way, it's all about our minds exploring possibilities. What if....

Why do we have fantasies? I believe it is because we all are wired up for more than what we are and where we are at right now. We live in a world that isn't exactly what God meant, so we struggle. When reality gets a little overwhelming, we need rest. Fantasy is just one way to rest from reality. Some may pray, others may read Scripture, still others meditate.

I think it can be okay to have fantasies. When I have them, I tend to keep God in the mix. When I do this, then all is well. So I say go ahead with those fantasies and be sure to keep God somewhere in the mix. This way, it will keep your imagination in check.

small interventions...viral effect

Currently my church is doing a message series called Viral Effect. The whole idea is that you can communicate something at a small level and it will most likely travel at an exponential rate. We see this kind of thing in Cyberspace. Whether in the land of blogs, Youtube, Myspace, Facebook,...the list goes on. This all has me thinking about my part in His whole grand epic drama.

I'm small, that's it. My part is small, but still important. I've began to pay attention to how little things can have a significant impact. It might not seem like it at the time, but it does have an impact. Jesus did say that if we have faith as small as a mustard seed, we can say to this mountain 'move from here to there' and it will move and nothing will be impossible for us. This all says to me that a tiny bit can go a long long way. So I compare myself to a single grain of sand.

A gain of sand is tiny. To see such a thing requires concentration or even magnification. When a grain of sand works its way inside an oyster, something wonderful happens. After much time, a beautiful pearl forms. Now to the oyster, that sand is irritating. So yeah, I'm like a grain of sand. I'm small, I can be irritating, but through all the tiny little interventions I engage something beautiful can emerge.

One of my pastors has talked about dreaming big. I suppose in his position that would make sense. For me, small is good.

I'm not perfect by any stretch

I've heard it said before many a time from my pastors, "...you're meant for so much more." This says to me that I'm capable of so much more than I am. The hard part about all of this is when I cannot accomplish a task I want to say to my pastors, "Yeah, right...sorry, I don't believe that." I question, how can I be capable of so much more when I can't even get __________ right? (fill in the blank) Then all the limitations of this world come pressing in hard. I feel this world pushing...no, clawing at my soul saying things like "You aren't much value are you?" Yuk. The Spirit reminds me of His word, His truth, but I still can't help being drug into a fierce battle with Satan! Heh...Satan's like that ya know. He looks for any opportunity to try and take me out. HA HA...Greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world! Or as Carmen would say it, "Greater is He who is in me than the snake I'm starring down!!!" Heh, and I even have a phobia of snakes.

As I look at my dog, Bella, and meditate upon the relationship she has with me, her master, it hits me like a ton of bricks. This relationship is EXACTLY the kind of relationship I have with my Master, Jesus Christ. When my wife and I leave the house, we put Bella in a create (a cage). As we leave the house, she'll yip and bark and whine. When we come home, she yips and barks and whines and paws at the door/gate of the crate. She so passionately wants to get out so she can run free and fully embrace her master. Wow...this is exactly how I am. This world is that create. It's not perfect. It's broken and it limits me from being all my Master made me to be. I can't wait until He comes back for me to let me out and be free to fully embrace my Master...and be EVERYTHING He made me to be.

playing Guitar Hero or Rock Band verses the real thing

As I've noted in my previous post, I have a PS2 now and with it the games Guitar Hero III and Rock Band. I've been reading a lot of different thoughts about these games in comparison with playing the real instruments. I myself have played the drums as well as various brass instruments, the baritone mostly, and the saxophones (bari and tenor I own) for years with various groups (concert band, jazz band, drum corps). I'd like to offer my perspective after playing GH and Rock Band myself.

As a drummer, GH/Rock Band on guitar or bass comes naturally. For me it's all about the rhythm. Once I know the rhythm, I can soar! I can even get to where I don't even need to look at the scrolling "notes" coming at me. I can simply listen to the music and know what is coming next. Pressing the fret buttons on the controller is, for me, not any different than pressing the keys on my bari sax. Again, it's all about the rhythm. Operating the strum bar (which is nothing more than a rocker switch) is, for me again, not any different that tapping out rhythms with my hands on either any surface or an actual drum, i.e. conga, bongo, djimbe. Again, it's all about the rhythm.

Now, for the drum pads of Rock Band. They are not any different than any digital drums on the market today. The kick drum pedal is the only thing that could be made a bit more sturdy. Otherwise, the drumming experience is no different than the real thing. The only thing I can say about the drum pads is the static configuration, meaning you can't reposition any of them. I'd like to be able to move each pad independently of each other configuring them to a more real feel of a drum set. Other than this, the drumming experience is fairly accurate. Playing a song for the first time is a challenge because the player is in fact sight-reading. I'm thankful for the practice mode. This allows me to learn and practice the part so when I actually perform it I know what I'm doing. Some fills are tricky and the practice does well.

Singing the vocals of Rock Band isn't any different than karaoke. My wife has done pretty well with this. She has always enjoyed karaoke anyway. Now she can do it with me playing along on either guitar or drums.

The scrolling meter bar is a plus for me as a drummer. The thick lines are the down beats with the thin lines in between representing the up beats. The tricky part is if you have a syncopated rhythm. It's challenging to determine just what the rhythm is by not having actually music notes in front of me. Fortunately for me I can listen to it to learn what it is. Thank God for practice modes.

So from a percussionist/wind instrument players' perspective, Guitar Hero and Rock Band is an enjoyable experience and quite accurate with regard to vocal and drums. I can agree with the real guitar players' perspective in that the guitar controller is nothing like the real thing, but it's still fun for those who don't play real guitar. I can say that I am inspired and may one day have the $$$ to buy a real guitar and learn to play it...God only knows.

So there's my 2 cents worth. I hope this helps.

Peace.

I'm rockin' now!!!!

My birthday was this last Friday. My wife, whom I love soooooooooooooo much, gave me a PlayStation 2 along with Rock Band!!! Did I mention I love her so much? Since I have a passion for music, I really enjoy the experience of Rock Band. I also got myself Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock.

I'm having a blast!!!

What can happen when God shows up?

On February 29, my wife and I were involved in an auto accident in downtown South Bend. After we submitted our claim with the auto insurance company, State Farm, the car (2001 Pontiac Grand Prix) was deemed a total loss. State Farm sent money to the credit union to pay off the rest of the loan and then they are sending my wife and I the remaining amount which totals the current market value of the car, about $6,000.00. I owed about $4,000.00 to the credit union, so we get about $2,000.00. Just yesterday the salvage company came and took the car away. This looks like a bad thing.

This all was a blessing in disguise.

I took the day off on Tuesday to make sure we had all our ducks in order with State Farm, the title transfer, and all that. Then we decided to go to Tyler's in Niles to see what they had. We were connected with a young sales person named Adam and he began us on a journey that I didn't even expect. My wife and I were shown a few different cars. I did find out that Adam is also a follower of Christ...BONUS! To make a long story short, God showed up yesterday and worked all things together so that my wife and I drove home a 2003 Chrysler 300M! This car is black with black leather interior and loaded! More so than what we had in the Grand Prix. If you clicked on the link, you can see this car has a current market value of around $14,000.00. I was able to get it for around $10,500! Indeed, I'm convinced God showed up yesterday and made all of it happen the way it did. I can say this, Becka is sure smiling! :)

Safe? Who said anything about this life being safe?

Indeed, I don't recall anyone really saying this life we live is safe. Of course, I'm really talking about the life in Christ. It's anything but safe. It's dangerous, risky, wild, and passionate. This is the very nature of life. It is an adventure. You just never know what will happen next.

Last night my wife and I went to an REO Speedwagon concert in South Bend, IN. As we were looking for a parking spot, we got hit/rubbed by another car. I had pulled into what I thought was a parking spot, but then saw the yellow paint on the curb and realized I had pulled into a crosswalk. I wasn't in a valid parking spot. So I began to back up and WHAM! The damage was not all that bad to the car. I never even saw the other car until after it all happened. This makes me think maybe the other driver was just going too fast. We waited for the police to arrive so a report could be made. After that, my wife and I were free to go. We did go to the concert.

This whole experience just proves how life is dangerous. Life can happen so quick that you don't even see it coming. This also reminded me of just how desperately dependent on God I am. I am so thankful that no one was hurt.

God still shows up in our culture

I just finished watching The Matrix Reloaded and see so many illustrations of eternal truths. I wonder if those who made these films realized this. Indeed, God does show up in our stories, films, music, art, and even science. And why not? God can show up anywhere and anytime.

An eternal truth that really sticks out to me is choice. Humans have the ability and freedom to choose. There are those who will say that choice may be an illusion. They may say we are slaves to a system of causality. For every action there is a reaction. This is true for everything in this universe, however what sets humans apart from all other life is the question of "why". Why do we choose this over that? Why does this happen? Most of the time I do not know why. Why does it rain on the day we are going to travel, but be sunny and clear on the day we stay home? I have no idea, but I do believe everything happens for a reason. In the film, there is a scene where Neo is talking with the Oracle and she asks him if he knows why he made the choice. So many times we already know what we are going to do. We have already made the choice. The important question is...why?

a prison for my soul: part deux

In my previous post, I mentioned that the work I do Monday through Friday for eight hours a day is not what I believe God created me for. This got me thinking more and more about the jobs people do versus what people love to do. In some cases, people get to work a job they truly have a passion for. I other cases, people work a job that is just that...a job. Let's face it, we all have bills to pay and groceries to buy. This requires us to work. So do we work out of true passionate desire, or out of necessity? I believe in my case I work the job I have out of necessity. It's necessary for me to work so I can be a blessing to my wife, pay the bills, all that stuff. The job I work is not what I dreamed of having. I understand that work is part of His design. I also understand that God shapes us for different jobs. So what happens when the world shoves us into a job that God did not mean for us to have?

I'm curious, is there anyone reading these posts have the job they truly desire or simply out of necessity? Please feel free to comment.

Faith: What is it?

According to Webster's Dictionary, faith is the firm belief in something for which there is no proof. I believe in God only by faith. God doesn't need to prove Himself to me. I believe in Him completely. When I see this earth, this creation, it's really the only proof I need. Others try to explain everything with science that tries to prove there is no God. I'm sorry, there is just way to much design in everything for it all to be just some random occurrence or accident. Plus, even an Atheist whom do not believe there is a God is quoted in Rick Warren's book The Purpose-Driven Life saying without God life has no purpose.

My question is, do we trust God all the way? Another part of the definition of faith is belief and trust in and loyalty to God...complete trust. This makes me ask, do I trust God completely? Do I trust Him with everything? Not just bits and pieces, but the "whole three-taco plate!" ($5 to Dave Ramsey). The whole enchilada baby! Trusting God completely, I believe, is a product of loving Him completely. I have heard preachers talk about following God with a reckless abandon. Yeah, that indeed takes 100% faith.

So what say we all pray for each other some more and ask God to help us take that next step and become all that more faithful?

I love and am praying for you all.

more random thoughts from this wild and crazy brain

This weekend, my wife and I served with our team at our church. We serve God as ushers/greeters with the church as part of a ministry called Guest Services, formally and more affectionately called First Impressions. I was reminded that we are just that, the first impressions of the church. What I really got to thinking about this weekend was how disconnected I feel. I serve with these people, but do not really know them. I sent an email to my team leaders with the idea that we DO get to know each other. I hope that this happens.

The message of this weekend at church dealt with money. Yeah I know, money is such a hot-button issues among people. It even can get my biscuits burnin'. Here's what I've concluded about money:

• IT'S NOT MY MONEY! I'm not the owner, God is the owner. I'm simply a manager of His stuff.
• Money is just that, stuff or tokens that we can use to get other stuff.
• Buying and selling is not part of God's system. God tells us to give to one another, generously and abundantly and outrageously. Giving is His system.
• From the film Hello Dolly, I love this line: "Money is, if you'll pardon the expression, like manure. It does no good unless you spread it around encouraging the young to grow."

Now here is something scary, I was reminded that everything I do and say has an influence on others. I never know when, or who, or even how, but someone else is influenced. This is so cosmically profound and staggering. I don't even know if or when anyone reads from this blog. To all who may read from here, I'm truly and completely humbled. What say we all pray for each other, eh? I know I need all the help from my Heavenly Father that I can get.

Know Thyself

Know thyself. This is a line from the film The Matrix. When Neo is meeting with the Oracle, she point him to a sign above a doorway that says "Know Thyself" in Latin. She goes on to say that it's like being in love, you either know it or you don't. There is a lot of eternal truth to this. When I began courting my wife, Rebecka, I knew she is the one I'd be spending the rest of my life with. I can remember after only seeing a few times sitting on the beach of Lake Michigan and wanting to ask her to marry me right then. I waited a little longer, of course, because I wanted to do this right.

This is all about our identity also. This is something you either know or don't. As I continue to grow on my journey with Christ, I know more and more each step of the way my true identity...the very purpose God created me. I can say right now that I know I am not meant for this job that I have currently. I was not made to be a records clerk with a corporation. No...I was made for music. Music makes me come alive inside with a fire...a fervor...and passion that transcends all space and time. Where does something like this come from? It can only come from my Creator God!

Also in the Matrix, when Neo and Agent Smith are fighting near the end, Smith keeps calling him Mr. Anderson. Then Neo speaks up, "My name...is Neo!" In the same way I feel this world and its "agents" pinning me down and calling me Mr. Hoyt, and all I want to do I respond with a yell..."My name is Rhythmn!" Indeed...my name is Rhythmn.

a prison for my soul

Well, I've never really written this out before. This is my life story...or at least part of it, but a big part of it. I've written out the part when I began my journey with Christ, but never a part before that. This is part of my life that really stung my soul. It left a deep stinging wound that is still today being healed by my Lord and Saviour.

Here goes.

I love music. Growing up I've never been excited about anything except music. I always loved band and when I got into drum corps I was really stoked. Playing the drums was the only thing I felt completely confident in doing. The only other thing I felt some confidence in doing was working with computers. After graduating from high school, I went to college and was a music major. I was stoked. The time was coming when I would be transferring to a university. The catch was that I had to audition for acceptance into the School of Music. Well, I auditioned and got a response I didn't expect. I was not accepted. Not just once though. I auditioned a total of 3 times at the same place and each time I was not accepted! I auditioned a fourth time at another place and STILL did not get accepted. This was just it. I was wounded. At this point I didn't know what I was going to do. I ended up becoming a Psychology major and got a BS degree from Central Michigan University. Then I got a job at the same place my dad works.

Now, here's where I get real. After I began my journey with Christ I have been slowly discovering my true identity. I've learned who God is and in doing so I'm learning who I am. I've learned that music is truly at the core of my identity. I have a divine passion for music that transcends space and time. This passion could only come from my Creator. So, why do I not have a career in music?

I currently play the baritone saxophone with the Southshore Concert Band, a community concert band of amateur musicians from all walks of life. I work with a records department within an engineering group of Robert Bosch, LLC. My job is not truly me. In other words, the work I do Monday through Friday for eight hours a day is not what I believe God created me for. Sure I do the best I can at it, and this is because it is the right thing to do. Still, I do not get to be who I truly am. I feel as though I have to put on a mask...the mask of professionalism. I simply pretend to be what I suppose the company expects me to be. The only time I feel real and genuine is when I'm playing with the Southshore Concert Band. Whether I'm playing the bari sax or the drums, I get to be what God created me to be.

While God created me for music, I feel this world simply won't allow me to be all of that. At least not as a paying career. I wish I could drop everything and go back to school and pursue that career, this time with God leading the way. Or even play with Blue Man Group. Alas, I just can't do that. I'm in a stage of life where I have higher priorities. I have a wife now. I have her to think about. My wife and I want to have at least one child. So yeah, higher priorities. Unless God puts the right people in my life to help move me towards that kind of occupation, it just won't happen. Plus, since God doesn't thwart our free-will those who are in positions who decide which people get hired or not can freely decide to say 'no' to me.

The way I figure it, unless God shows up and says otherwise, I will never be all that God created me to be in this world. I will after He comes back or calls me home, but not now. I'll keep playing with the Southshore Band for as long as I can, so that will count for something. I just wish I can be that all the time. Oh well. I suppose I can simply play my sax at home (practice) more. God only knows for sure what will happen next.

God's will v. free-will of humanity

This is just staggering! God made us, humans, with the ability and complete freedom to make up our own minds! We can freely choose which way to go, what to accept or reject, and yes...even to reject God. WHOA! Why???

I've come to learn that God wanted us, humans, to be lovers. True love can only be an act of free-will. God did not want us to be these lifeless mechanisms. He didn't want a bunch of mindless drones. He wanted lovers.

When bad things happen to us, I hear people say that it must be the will of God...or something to this affect. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? I've learned that God does NOT cause bad things to happen to us. Many of the bad things that happen are the result of our own doing...not His. We make bad decisions and WHAM! We get hit with bad consequences. God may allow so much to happen, but He is not the cause. It is His will that we have free-will, so He doesn't thwart that. Because He doesn't thwart our free-will, when bad things happen it is mostly because we made a bad choice. Sometimes we can only learn the hard way. Sometimes we're the victim of some degree of injustice. Only God knows.

I believe that saying "It's God's will" for every bad thing that happens is just an easy out. We say it because it's easy, but I think it hides the reality that this world is full of people who make bad decisions. I've made some bad decisions in my life and the consequences weren't/aren't the best. The only thing I can get out of it all is a lesson learned.

injustice

This morning I got to hear my pastor Rob Wegner.  The message dealt with the desire we have for justice.  The question was asked about what really yanks my chain.  What is the thing, the injustice, in this world that makes me want to stand up and fight?  After much meditation, the system in this world that abuses power to keep people from enjoying all that God meant for us to enjoy is money.  Yes, the financial systems really burns my buns!  The real injustice is that there are those who have an outrageous abundance of this stuff and those who have just enough to survive and those who don't have enough and those who don't have any.  Because this world demands payment for every thing and service, those who don't have enough or don't have any lost out.

...simply wicked.

just more stuff

I was standing in the checkout line at the local grocery store and saw a book titled The Complete Idiot's Guide to Prayer. My first thought was, "You've got to be kidding me." Then I thought, maybe this is just the thing that can help the "outsider" have some kind of access into a much larger perspective...or as Obi-wan Kenobi would say, "you've taken step into a much larger world." I used to be an "outsider". I didn't come to know Jesus until I became an adult. As an outsider looking in, I believed these church people thought they were better than me and they certainly engaged in this religious stuff without question that was all alien to me. Now that I've been "in" for as long as I have I learned that I was wrong. It's easy to believe that something like prayer is certainly something sacred and has to be done with a special language and ritual. I was wrong about this too. Prayer is simply the word we humans use to identify communication with God. It's talking to God in the most personal and intimate way, at the same time He does the same with us. Yep, that's pretty much it. It's that simple.

life stuff

On my journey with Christ, I've come to the full realization that I was born into a world at war and a world NOT what God meant for it to be. I've heard this world being referred to as a cesspool...indeed a sludge pit! Don't get me wrong, there are moments where you think the fall never happened...but only moments.

I love God...period! This having been said, here's what I hate:

1. wickedness


2. injustice


3. persecution


4. money and it's whole system


5. buying and selling


6. greed


7. selfishness


8. arrogance


9. PRIDE!

From what I can tell, God's system never included buying and selling. His system included giving abundantly. His word is chop full of statements saying this. If you're a Christ-follower, you know where to find them. Some that pop out in my mind include:

1. John 3:16


2. Mark 12:29-31


3. John 13:34-35


4. Malachi 3:9-11

Church, when are we going to stop following the systems of this world and fully engage in our LORD's? I don't know, maybe I'm just frustrated. Then again, maybe my relationship with God is intimate enough that I feel what He feels and begin to think what He thinks?

What would it look like if we eliminated money, buying and selling, and we engaged fully in giving to God first then to each other? I'd think if we all were giving to one another then everyone would be taken care of. No one would be left hungry or suffering. : What would it look like if we eliminated competition and fully engaged in cooperation? You know, living together in community serving and helping each other. Working for each other rather than against. Indeed, what would that look like?

what is love anyway?

Love is not an emotion. What? Yes, love is not an emotion. Sure there are many emotions associated with love, but what is love really? Love is the decision of the heart of put someone else ahead of yourself. Love is to say you matter more to me than I matter to myself, which is what Jesus Christ says on the cross. Yep, Jesus loves us literally to death. Of course, He conquered death.

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.--John 3:16

spiritual battles

Many times along this journey with Christ, I face battles with the enemy...sometimes those battles are fierce. I think this battle scene from Star Wars episode I: The Phantom Menace best illustrates this. As you can see, I'm not alone in the battles. My Master is with me. Also, my Master was killed by the enemy and there wasn't anything I could do about it. Of course, my Master could not be kept down as He conquered death.

weather related cancellations

Well last night the Lake Michigan College canceled all the afternoon and night classes. The Southshore Concert Band whom I play the baritone saxophone with rehearses at LMC. It's winter weather policy is that if the college cancels classes then our rehearsal is also canceled. So no band last night. Instead I spent time clearing out the driveway with my snowblower. I'm glad it's Friday...I can sleep in tomorrow.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

Okay I know it's not the Christmas season, but it's snowing out. In fact the National Weather Service has issued a winter storm warning for this area. In spite of all this, I'm still here at work...and wonder why. I think I'll take the afternoon off to go home, clear out the driveway with the snowblower, then relax. Tonight is when I usually go to band rehearsal, but due to the this weather...maybe I'll stay home.

when God shows up

I read chapter 50 of the Psalms and wow! God shows up here and puts it out there. What all this says to me is that God certainly want to help those He loves and love Him in return. It also shows that He's not going to help those who turn from Him. It's not because God doesn't want to help them, but because they don't want Him to. God is a gentlemen and will not force Himself upon anyone. In this chapter, He basically tells those who do love and follow Him that He right there ready to help. Then He basically tells those who don't love and follow Him that they won't receive any help from Him.

As one of my pastors would say, "if you want to move from here to there you have to take steps in that direction." Indeed, if I want to move closer to God I need to take steps in that direction.

not a morning person

This is me in the morning LOL!

God is good!

Today was a good day. I was reminded that sometimes I have to go through a little pain for a greater good. The time with the oral hygenist was a little painful with that whole metal scraper thingy, but it cleans out the tatar and other junk. It saves me from having any bigger problems. Sometimes God allows us to go through some painful times to prevent any bigger problems.

I'm in the middle of Psalms right now, I've read up to chapter 50. Every time I read from the Bible, I like to ask three questions.

1. What does this say about God? God is awesome, period! In each instance, God shows Himself to be faithful, loving, righteous, and true. Plus, there just isn't anything or anyone bigger than Him.
2. What does this say about other people? We all have a longing to have value and to be accepted. David and others express how much they want God to come through for them. This also shows how desparately dependent on Him we are.
3. What does this reveal about myself? I've been reading the Message paraphrase version by Eugene Peterson and I love how this version captures the emotion of the Psalms. I connect immediately with what the writers are expressing. I too am so desparately dependent on God to get through. I also feel like the world of godless people are out to take me out. I also feel the world opposing me from being fully all of what God created me to be.

So yeah, the Psalms are a great book to pray. The Psalms are raw, passionate, honest, and genuine cries of real people.

Indeed, God is good!

TEETH ARE CLEAN!!!

WOO HOO! My teeth are clean and so far all is well with my choppers. I did focus much on God through it all. That hook scraper thingy can pinch ya a little. I go back is 6 month per usual.

I'm at work now, so I better do just that.

this is just too cool!

I have a divine passion for music. It transcends space and time. I discovered this and thought it was the coolest thing. It combines music and computers, two things I enjoy much.

the dentist

Less the 12 hours from now I go visit the dentist for the usual 6 months cleaning and check-up. I always dred going and I really don't know why. I suppose I have a low threshold for pain and when she pulls out that scraper thingy...yeah, you know what I mean.

Hopefully everything will be just fine, but if not it will be an adventure...that's for sure.

meant for so much more

As I continue my journey with Christ, I'm always becoming more aware of what God meant when He brought me into being. My pastors continuously repeat how "we" were meant for so much more...that when we follow Christ we enter into a life that is extraordinary. I want to believe this whole-heartedly, but sometimes I feel I'm just ordinary...just another guy.

I wonder if any other man struggles with this? As I look at where I am in this life, I'm not always impressed. I wish for more and at the same time I'm bombarded with statements, all Biblically based, that say I need to be content with what I have and/or where I'm at. Honestly, this sounds like a resignation into passivity. How can I grow in Christ if I just be content with the way things are? At the same time, I see and hear statements that suggest it's okay to feel some discontent. In fact, there is a book written by Bill Hybels, Sr. Pastor of Willow Creek Community Church, called Holy Discontent. I have not read this book, but I just may.

The more I dig, the more I discover just what God meant for this earth and all that dwell in it to be. It's clear to me that God meant for humanity to be blessed with such abundance, but sin messed that up. There are those who have an outrageous abundance and those who struggle just to survive. God certainly didn't mean for this. This morning my pastor spoke about the importance of community, that we're all hard-wired for relationships. We weren't meant to be alone. Yet there are so many who are...and it's only by choice.

This is just so cosmically staggering, when God created humanity He not only gave us the ability but also the complete freedom to make up our own minds! He did so because He wanted us to love, and I've concluded that true love is the decision of the heart to put someone else ahead of myself. You matter more to me than I matter to myself. This is what God is clearly stating on the cross. True love can only be an act of free-will. No one took Jesus' life. He even stated clearly that His life cannot be taken. No, He gave His life because He loves us that much. Because God meant for us to have free-will, and He doesn't interfere with this, this is why so much bad stuff happens in this world. God is a gentlemen and does not force Himself upon anyone. So it's obvious so many make bad decisions. I admit, sometime I make a bad choice. This is why I want Him so much in my life. He sees things I cannot and can tell me, "No Tom, don't go that way...go this way instead...trust Me." Indeed, trust Him.

the first one

This is my first entry onto this blog. Before I've been blogging in MySpace, but you have to have an account in there and be my friend to see it. I wanted to be able to blog my thoughts and have those friends who don't have myspace be able to see it.

Currently I'm watching Stealth with my wife and so far it's a cool movie. This is the kind of story that poses the question, should a machine be in complete control of military defense? Usually the answer to that question is no because a machine doesn't have instincts or moral feeling, in fact it can't feel at all which makes it a lethal killer. It would destroy without remorse, whether the "target" is innocent or not.

Well, more to come...maybe later, maybe tomorrow...who knows.