Remembering What We Wanted

I've just finished chapter one of the latest book by John and Stasi Eldredge, Love and War.

In this chapter a challenging question is posed. It all comes down to this, what do we want? This is a challenge because I think there is this battle between mind and heart. Our hearts may have all this desire for romance, but our minds step in and recall past experience and say "Oh that just won't happen." I admit, so much of me is ready to lose heart...to give up all those dreams because the world around me and my mind are all saying "it won't happen".

Isn't it true, though, that it's not about what I want anyway? It's all about what He wants. It is true also that marriage is all His idea, His design, so indeed He will want to make it work. All I have to do is surrender to His will and His power and get myself out of the way.

I do have this battle about the whole subject of desire. It seems to me that I ought not have any desire except for God and what He wants. So in a sense, I'm a slave to Him. My desire then becomes irrelevant, doesn't it??? It's not about me. I don't get to have what I want. I only get to have what He wants. Now I do trust Him and do love Him. God knows me better than I know myself. God see all things where I cannot. So if you ask me what I want, I can only say that I want what He wants...shalom...all things as they should be.